Welcome to Aerelon.

Here,
the only requirement is to talk;
the only rule, to be sincere.
I shall say what is in my mind,
never holding back.
I'll be naive and mischievous,
gentle and brutal,
a chevalier and a bastard,
an angel and a devil,
but,
over all,
free

to sing what is running through my head.



Showing posts with label serious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label serious. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Out of your worst nightmares

Imagine that you're a bride. 

You met a guy, a foreigner, a couple of years ago. Got to know him, fell in love, and almost a year ago, he proposed. You said yes. A date was set, and now you counted the days.

He called you every day, you wrote encyclopaedic E-mails to him.
He sent you flowers and gifts, you sent back photographs and real, perfumed, letters.

Love was in the air, connecting two souls an ocean apart. You could hardly wait.

A New Year came, promises of everlasting love. Not even a month remained. Every date you crossed on the calendar seemed like a new feather to attach to your wings. Hello sweet romance!

And, finally, the last week came, and with it, the day he would board his plane to make an transoceanic flight, a quick stop on the capital, and then a hop across the sky to your city.

Hours pass, and kept passing. Only that, he never showed up.

It's now the early morning of the next day, and a phone call awakes you. He's in an hospital in the capital. He's also comatose.

The first seat on the first flight available is yours. You run next to him. Kiss his lips, hold his hand, stand by him. When you can't, you spend the night sitting on a couch, right next to his room. 

The day you were supposed to become his wife you spend it guarding his immobile figure.

The days pass. Friends come and go. You haven't sleep for almost a week now, while the doctors tell you he's unconscious, but improving, he had a fever they barely contained, but he's alright, he might wake up tomorrow, he might wake up in hours, he will be awake soon.

And you keep your guard because you love this man. You love him, enough to wait till the end of time for him to wake up. A macabre sleeping beauty you kiss hoping against hope this will be it, what will breath life back to him.


And one morning, they tell you they are sorry. He's dead.

And that's how it ends.


Only that it doesn't. 

Because the results of the autopsy roll in, and the coroner, a friend of your sister's husband, calls you in private, tells you to sit down, and continues telling you things.

Things like, someone had offered money to tamper with the results.
Things like, his body had pretty much fallen apart on the dissection table.
Things like, his cells had been pumped full of formaldehyde.
Things like, he hadn't been dead for a couple of hours when he got to the morgue.

Things like, he had been dead for almost a week.


The problem with those horror urban legends is not that they have some kind of basis in reality. The problem is that the real history might be more horrific than anything in the legend. The monsters are not horrible freaks. The monsters are human beings, just like you, who you cross on the aisle every day, who you trust your life, your love to. Who will smile at you, and tell you "Everything is going to be fine" at the same time they pump a dead man full of chemicals so that he would pretend to still be alive one more day.

Because every day in your hospital is worth enough money to, in a week, spirit away the life savings of a broken bride and her dead groom into the pockets of greedy doctors and nurses and managers.

Taking their souls at the same time, of course.

-- --- --

I wish I could tell you this story is just a product of my twisted mind, but it isn't. The bride is one of my most cherished friends, one to whom I own more that I could ever repay. I took her to the airport the morning of the call, I hold her while she was crying not knowing what would happen, and I stood with her at the door of her groom's room - only for some monsters to break her apart.

I only heard about the whole thing it a week ago. That's what was needed for her to fix herself enough. Enough. For she will never be able to heal completely. She has no hope left. No hope. For fucks sake, what are we, if we have no hope?

Really, what kind of person could be so rotten as to willingly play with and crush a woman's hope?

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Love (Part I)

Define love.


C’mon, what is it? I’m asking this because, all things considered, I just can’t define a single idea of love. It’s too big a word, too complicated a feeling, but at the same time it is something that we live with on a daily basis. Love, it is in our lives, but in so many different ways, working with so many different mechanisms, tasting in so many different flavours, and all of them basically equal at the same time, that sometimes I believe that, when they were inventing words, they just gave up trying to differentiate them and put them under a sound; let people sort stuff up later.

And we had to sort it out later whether we like it or not because, truly, love is, or can be in, pretty much in every action of our lives.

Both the evicted mother who stops eating until she starves to death so her child has something to put in his stomach and the boy who chooses not to stare down the loose strap shirt of a girl he adores to see her unbound breasts while she’s sleeping, even though he and she are just in the right position to have a rather glorious view (and, darn, those are some really nice breasts), act out of love, totally different iterations of love, but love still.


So, let’s say we can’t define love. It is something, everything, and nothing at the same time. f(x) = x/0. Not even Chuck Norris can pull that off (and those Chuck Norris jokes got old a long time ago, anyway).


What about what love makes us do?

Well, that’s just rephrasing the question. I just went through the undefined love in whatever action thing, so let’s just say that love can make us do anything. Once again, not much of an answer, but a sincere one at least. However, there might be a clue there. What about the anything? Can love really make us do anything? Not anything in a moral sense, for it has been proven time and time again through history that love can push us to do acts that are capable of putting a devil to shame (when a rather perverse version of love comes to town) or humbling angels. Rather, anything in a sense of capability.

Love, sheer love, how far can it push you?

How well can it fuel you?




I'll follow this up later, I need to sleep now.


And, yes, in an ideal world I wouldn't need to go over a moral dilemma about whether I should look at those breasts or not; I'd be doing something really kinky and funny and romantic and awesome at the same time with them and that girl I adore instead of writing as a madman on my Macbook, trying to ignore the savage combat of hormones and feelings maelstroming my mind. But I'm in Lima, my mind is thinking in Spanish, and all that I could ever be got lost in translation. Now, that's an idea for exploring the difference in attitudes depending on the language you operate in. Hello multiple personality syndrome. Grab a seat, take a cookie, there's free soda on the back.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Jumper

A friendship is not an obligation.
It's never supposed to be that. You're supposed to do only what your heart tells you to do. If you ever feel you're doing something out of duty instead of out of love, please, I beg you,

WALK AWAY.

And don't come back until your heart tells you to do it. Even if it means never coming back.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Faith

Sometimes, I wish I could remain a child forever.
Not for the laughs, not for the fun.
Not for the mischief, shenanigans, and impunity.
Not even for my mother's sweet love when my knees bled.
But for the innocence.
The unblemished faith on every human being.
The hope that everyone really, really, is well-intended.
The untarnished purity in my own intentions.
The ability to see everything from the ground.
The idea that justice always prevails.
But, above all,
The sheer invincible and incorruptible belief that
everything is possible.